where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
