I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
