So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
