just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
