sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
