how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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