Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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