Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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