I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
