This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
