i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
