Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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