That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
only you would photoshop your dick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
