Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
