She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
