People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
