i think my tv is drunk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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