dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
