Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
