yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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