Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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