3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
