Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
All I want is dick and wine.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
