We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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