jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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