I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize