He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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