You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
