I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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