Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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