the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We had sex on a dog bed..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
