The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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