Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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