in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i believe in u and ur pee
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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