All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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