He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is my gift to your gina
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
