Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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