if i can run in heels then i can drive
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
