girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
