I'm eating all of the evidence.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
