And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
