Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Come see our sink grown plant.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
