This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
