I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I enjoy the company of your penis
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
