at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
