i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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