i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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