The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize