please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
