apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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