Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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