yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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