I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
