Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
