i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
