we have officially lost it.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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