need another drink. this is the easiest way
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize