my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
