Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
