Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
