dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize