there was a trapeze. enough said
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
