I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
