Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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