Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
