I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
