Don't you send me to vm
I'm so fucking centered right now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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