conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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