I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
