I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
